Then and Now
by danisnape
Summary: Prompt: Use Two songs to describe Severus Snape, before and after the Wizarding War. (One-shot) Songs used were Black Sabbath's 'War Pigs' and Saliva's 'Always'.


Severus had turned on the muggle record player, and set the needle on his newest vinyl, throwing himself into his couch as he lit up a cigarette with the tip of his wand.

"What is this, Sev?" Regulus had his own hand-rolled joint that smelled vaguely like pot, and offered some to the Half Blood Prince.

"Blow your mind, man. Black Sabbath."

_Generals gathered in their masses  
Just like witches at black masses  
Evil minds that plot destruction  
Sorcerers of death's construction  
In the fields the bodies burning  
As the war machine keeps turning  
Death and hatred to mankind  
Poisoning their brainwashed minds  
Oh lord yeah!_

"Whoa."

Severus smirked, knowing he found a new friend to listen to music with. He had always loved music, and used to spend weekends with Lily 'shopping' for new vinyls. And Black Sabbath wasn't something he could listen to by himself. It had to be experienced.

"And these are muggles?" Reg asked. Severus just nodded.

_Politicians hide themselves away  
They only started the war  
Why should they go out to fight?  
They leave that role to the poor_

Time will tell on their power minds  
Making war just for fun  
Treating people just like pawns in chess  
Wait 'til their judgment day comes  
Yeah!

"This is totally about the Ministry and that stupid Statute of Secrecy, isn't it? The Minister tells us to integrate the Mud—sorry, muggle-borns into proper Wizarding Society."  
Severus didn't agree, but he wasn't about to start a conversation about it. He just wanted to relax and enjoy. Soon enough, his arm would burn and they would be sent to do another ambush, or attack a target en mass. The Dark Lord sent them off to risk their lives to take over the Wizarding World while he stayed at the Riddle House. Severus took another drag from his cigarette and summoned the bottle of fire-whiskey and took a long swig from it.

_Now in darkness world stops turning  
Ashes where the bodies burning  
No more war pigs have the power  
Hand of God has struck the hour  
Day of judgment, God is calling  
On their knees the war pig's crawling  
Begging mercy for their sins  
Satan laughing spreads his wings  
Oh lord yeah!_

Severus couldn't help but reflect on those words, knowing the promise that he'd have to eventually answer for his sins. But he didn't care; he had The Dark Lord's promise.  
He would leave Lily Evans alone.

* * *

The war was over, and Severus didn't stick around long enough in the UK to find out if he was going to be executed or just have his soul sucked out. Even though he proved his loyalty was to Harry's side of the war.

When Lily was killed, all bets were off. Severus had nothing to live for but vengeance. It was bitter, but it was sustenance.

Now he survives on selling potions on the black market and drinking himself into a stupor every night. Smoking his e-cigarette in the hole in the wall on Pirate Alley, he finished his Absinthe. The MP3 player skipped for a second as the new song came on.

_I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...  
it's telling me all these things...  
that you would probably hide...  
am I... your one and only desire...  
am I the reason you breathe...  
or am I the reason you cry…_

He rolled his eyes as the angst attached to that one word pierced his heart. He was back at the Order of the Phoenix meeting, silenced and under Potter's invisibility cloak as required by Albus.

_Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
I just can't live without you...  
I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't get around you...  
I breathe you...  
I taste you...  
I can't live without you...  
I just can't take any more...  
this life of solitude...  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
and now i'm done with you..._

It was torture, to be around her after he knew she was a marked witch due to her son.  
He always wondered if she knew, right before the end, that he had switched sides for her. If she could have smelled him there or perhaps if she reached out just far enough and touched the invisibility cloak that separated them. He didn't even know if she'd have wanted to see him, even if she found out his true allegiance.

_I feel... like you don't want me around...  
I guess i'll pack all my things...  
I guess i'll see you around...  
Its all... been bottled up until now...  
as I walk out your door...  
all I hear is the sound..._

The refrain of this song was burned into his memory, and once it began to play in his mind there was no way of stopping it. He sipped his drink as he let it sink in.

_Always... always... always... always... always... _

Loud static assaulted his ears, making him pull the earbuds out violently. Looking down at the player, the screen looked garbled. It wasn't just the cord that was messing up, it was…

Severus whipped out his wand as the lights around him flickered. Something magical was nearby and it was powerful. It could have been renegade Death Eaters looking to punish the traitor, or some bounty hunter looking for a reward from the Ministry. Either side wanted him dead because neither side trusted him anymore.

He did his job, he saved the world, but apparently he was granted no reprieve to live the rest of his life in peace. The shrieks and screams of muggles being blasted out of the way didn't matter either, apparently. Bounty Hunters were given carte blanche with breaking the Statute of Secrecy as well as the use of Unforgivables 'for the greater good'.

In the end, it doesn't really matter who was after him. Severus killed Albus, and would have to keep killing his way in order to survive.

Always.


End file.
